“No matter what, people grow. If you choose not to grow, you’re staying in a small box with a small mindset. People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it.”– Kevin Hart (Performer and Actor)
Our decisions and behaviors are driven by our underlying needs and our beliefs
Our decisions and behaviours are driven by our underlying needs and our beliefs about how these 6 Human needs must be met.
The 6 human needs are a powerful psychological framework, created by therapist Cloé Madanes and popularized by Anthony Robbins’ strategic intervention strategies.
These core needs are at the root of our motivations and why we prioritize certain decisions and actions, often without our awareness.
Each person values one or more of these needs more than the others.
Which need is your primary driver is a huge determining factor for how you live your life.
The 6 human needs are:
1. Certainty/comfort
2. Uncertainty/variety
3. Significance
4. Love and connection
5. Growth
6. Contribution
The first four needs:
The first four needs are called the needs of the personality.
These four requirements are things that we always find ways to meet—they are vital.
The last two needs are called the needs of the spirit and are needs not always met.
In most cases, the first four needs must be met before a person is able to start to value and focus on meeting the last 2 needs.
However, when we meet and achieve those higher-level needs is when we truly feel fulfilled.
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Now Let's Take A Look At Each Of Them
Need 1: Certainty/Comfort:
At our core we want to feel that we are in control of our reality.
This feeling gives us security.
This allows us to feel comfortable in our life to feel that we can avoid pain and create pleasure.
At the core this is just a survival mechanism that we have.
Certainty makes us feel safe, emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
Depending on how much we value certainty will depend on how much risk we take in life.
You probably have met people on both ends of the spectrum - those who want to control every single detail in their life and those that crave uncertainty.
The extreme need for certainty, however, will hold you back because all growth and change requires uncertainty.
Need 2: Uncertainty/Variety:
The second one is uncertainty. Yes, it’s the opposite of the first one.
Think about it - what would happen if you always knew everything that would happen to you? You would probably be bored to death.
So, uncertainty brings excitement and spice to life.
The level of uncertainty that you are willing and able to live with determines how much and how fast you will change.
Keep in mind that being able to deal with uncertainty is also a skill that can be developed, as you become more confident that you can deal with change.
Also, as you start associating uncertainty and change with something that creates happiness and helps you achieve your dreams, your desire for uncertainty will increase.
Need 3: Significance:
Think about it, we all want to feel like we are special.
We want to feel like we are important, needed and unique.
There are a variety of ways that we can get significance.
For example, you can get it by feeling like you are the best at something, by making a lot of money, having the best house in your neighborhood, by buying the latest thing, getting a master’s degree or a doctorate, by becoming a social influencer, by 26 being the best dad, having a bunch of tattoos, you can even be that person that has more problems that anyone else, the most intimidating, or even the most spiritual person.
As you can see, there are endless ways to feel significant.
People will go to great lengths to feel significant in their life.
Need 4: Love & Connection:
The next need is Love and Connection.
Whether we realize it or not, love is that thing that we need more than anything.
When we love 100% we feel alive and it is a powerful force.
For love, many people are willing to do extraordinary things for others, whether it’s the love that a parent has for a child or the love of a romantic relationship.
However, if we don’t feel like we can get love, we settle for connection - even if these connections do not serve us.
There are a lot of ways to get connection, whether it is through a friendship, a pet or even connecting to nature.
Less-constructive ways of getting connection are through social media, sacrificing our authenticity to conform to a group, or people pleasing.
We each have a stronger need for some areas over others at different points in our lives.
All of these beliefs are healthy, however we cause ourselves pain when we develop IRRATIONAL IDEAS about what we think we need in order to fulfill these core needs.
We need security, but we tell ourselves we need to be free of all discomfort and inconvenience at all times.
We need love, but we tell ourselves we need to be approved of by everyone at all times.
And, we develop emotional disturbances because of our irrational rules we create about meeting our needs.
So, which need a person's values most, and which ones they are starving to meet, will influence the choices that they make in life.
They will find a way to meet those needs one way or another, whether through a negative or positive ways.
For example, someone robbing someone can feel significant, have that thrill of uncertainty, and at the same time they feel certain because they are the one in control.
So, this negative action can meet 3 core needs.
The power of identifying your own hierarchy of needs (which one/s are most important to you) is that you can then reflect to see if you’re meeting your needs in constructive ways.
And, if not, consciously choose more constructive ways of meeting your needs.
At the end of the day, fulfilment comes from something internal - whether deep inside, you feel loved, feel like you are growing, and contributing to others.
This is why the higher level needs are what ultimately lead to fulfilment.
However, in most cases, the lower level needs HAVE to be met in order for a person to turn their attention to the higher level needs.
Need 5: Growth:
The next one is the need for growth.
Think about it, if you’re not growing in an area of your life, then that area is dying.
This can be your relationship, your business, or an aspect of your personal life.
If you are not growing then it does not matter what you are creating in your exterior world.
That need for certainty can hold you back from growth, leading you to feel empty and not be able to feel true fulfilment.
Growth can be scary because it can have uncertainty for some, but it brings fulfilment.
Need 6: Contribution:
The last one is contribution and it's one that many people reflect on in the later stages of life, as we look at our legacy.
Contribution is like a higher level of the need for significance, the difference being that it’s no longer about you.
However, contribution is the essence of life.
Life is not about me… it’s about us.
We are social creatures and we have a natural need to feel that we have a higher purpose and that our life has meaning.
The way we find that is to contribute to others.
In fact, the feeling that we are contributing to others can help us overcome the biggest changes if we think it has a purpose.
Life therefore is about creating meaning, and that comes from giving.
Let’s look at constructive ways of meeting these needs:
• Certainty: You can have certainty by having a daily routine or having a community around you that is supportive no matter what’s happening in your life.
• Variety: You can have variety by adding diverse experiences to your life. You can also try new things and learn new skills.
• Significance: You can meet the need of significance by using your talents and skills. You can also master a skill and share your skills with others.
• Love/Connection: You can meet this need by establishing lifelong friendships spending more time with likeminded people, as well as improving your relationship skills.
• Growth: You can meet the need for growth by constantly learning. For example, reading new courses, watching YouTube videos, or following others that help you grow. You can also surround yourself with people that motivate you and challenge you to become a better person.
• Contribution: You can meet the need for contribution by sharing your talents and passions with others. You can also engage in causes that are meaningful to you.
So, Ask Yourself In Reflection:
Which needs are the most important to you?
How do you currently meet these needs?
Which area of need are you currently struggling with the most?
In what way do you feel like your need is not being met?
What do you believe is necessary for your need to be met?
How can you meet these needs in a way that will help you truly be fulfilled?
Thank you for reading this article “Understanding The 6 Human Needs At Our Core”
I really hope that you enjoyed it and will take action on the advice given in this article.
I wish you good luck on your journey.
I hope its contents have been a good help to you so this year can be your best year at achieving your goals and ambitions.
