Part 4.. Self-Confidence -
Every achievement you accomplish (no matter how big or small) you gain more Self-Confidence in Yourself.
There are 5 parts to How To Be Your Best You.
This list of 5 parts is the list to Happiness.
Also so you can navigate between the pages.
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Self-Confidence is a state of being clear-headed
Either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective.
Confidence comes from a Latin word ‘fidere‘ which means “to trust“;
Arrogance or hubris, in comparison, is the state of having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is correct or capable when evidence or reasons for this belief are lacking.
Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure.
Self-Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.
the resemblance between confidence and esteem
What is Self-Confidence?
Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem are very much part of the same mindset.
If we have high Self-Esteem we have a good opinion of ourselves and our ability to deal with situations as they come up so we are more likely to have self-confidence.
We are less likely to put ourselves under the microscope all the time and analyze every little thing we have done wrong.
Someone is confident when they believe in themselves and their ability to succeed in life, and trust in one’s own ability to achieve most of their goals, which one meta-analysis suggested is similar to a generalization of self-efficacy.
Confident people show traits such as --
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While it is normal to have low self-confidence at some point in our lives it is more serious if this feeling of ‘not being good enough’ is affecting daily life.
It can then become very disruptive, perhaps causing a person to become socially withdrawn as they don’t feel they can mix with other people or holding themselves back from applying for a job they really want as they couldn’t face an interview.
Someone with confidence issues may even avoid romantic relationships as they don’t feel capable of meeting someone and getting to know them one to one.
What is Self-Esteem?
As I mentioned earlier, Self-Esteem is intertwined with confidence.
That being said, you can still have good Self-Esteem and suffer from lack of confidence in certain situations.
What you will do, however, is brush that lack off, not beat yourself up about it for very long, learn from it and recognise you are human and therefore not perfect!
Self-Esteem encompasses what you believe about yourself.
Are you likable, worthwhile, intelligent, capable, kind etc.
Low Self-Confidence and low Self-Esteem can go hand in hand with a high level of Social Anxiety or social phobia.
The lower your Self-Esteem, the more you are likely to worry about what people are thinking about you and how you do things.
This has a knock on effect on confidence, as you will very often avoid social situations which reinforces your feelings.
Your self view is an opinion and a belief, therefore it is not set in stone.
The words in this blog will guide you to changing this belief by helping you to view experiences in a much more positive and helpful way.
It will help you retrain your self-talk to become more supportive, kind and positive which will have your confidence growing in no time.
Having high or low self-confidence is very rarely related to your actual abilities, and is mostly based on your own perceptions.
Perceptions are the way you think about yourself and these thoughts can often be flawed.
Low self-confidence might stem from different experiences, such as growing up in an unsupportive and unloving environment, being separated from your friends or family for the first time, judging yourself too harshly, or being afraid to fail etc.
How To Increase Your Self-Confidence
Recognize and emphasize your strong points.
Reward and give yourself praise for your efforts and progress.
When you stumble on an obstacle, treat yourself with kindness and be compassionate with yourself.
Don’t dwell on your failures.
Set realistic and achievable goals, by planning ahead.
Do not strive for perfection; it is impossible to be perfect in every aspect of life.
Slow down when you are starting to feel intense emotions, take a step back and think logically about the situation.
Think about the assumptions you are making about yourself, people and situations.
Recognize that the past negative life situations and experiences do not dictate your future.
Express your feelings, beliefs and needs directly and respectfully.
Know that you can say “no” to unreasonable requests, considering yourself is not selfish, it’s a part of Self-Worth.
It’s not just about being motivated and getting pumped up for something…we might like to be confident, but that only comes from having been in a similar situation before, and being successful in those endeavours.
This way we become confident through repetition – R.S.O. Repetitive Syndrome Order = Habit.
Like when you’re faced with something that you’ve done a lot before and you tell yourself “I’ve done this a thousand times before”.
If we haven’t done it before, we draw confidence on success from the closest similar experience that we have had.
Although many factors affecting self-confidence are beyond our control, there are a number of things we can consciously do to build self-confidence.
Confidence in yourself can show in many different ways and is projected to those around you through traits such as your behaviour, body language, how you speak and what you say.
Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light, even when things aren’t going so well.
They are often admired by and inspire confidence in others as a result of their outlook.
Through their positivity, they believe in themselves and their abilities and are therefore typically satisfied with and respect themselves.
Whether it’s the nurse in the hospital who calmly but confidently delivers the correct medical advice, or the vocal confidence of a charismatic and inspiring speaker, self confident people have abilities which are widely admired.
People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful, which can become a vicious self-destructive cycle of negativity.
But it’s not all doom and gloom.
Self-confidence is not just something people are born with; it’s a skill, and a mindset – which means that it can be trained, and you can teach yourself to develop confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Unfortunately, there is no quick fix or overnight solution to developing self-confidence, but it is really achievable.
It will require focus and determination to follow through, and the things that you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success, and result in a positive habit.
So here’s a few suggested methods which you can use to start developing that Self-Confidence!
1. Self-appreciation
A good starting point is to be able to appreciate yourself and what you’ve achieved so far in life.
This can be referred to as a gratitude list…think about your life, and make a list of the best and most important things that you’ve achieved.
You need to give yourself some slack here if you maybe haven’t met your own expectations, but really look at what you have done and make this list so that you are able to reflect on the positive things which you have overcome so far.
As a part of this exercise, you can take stock of where you currently are in life, and where you want to be, which can help you set goals for the future and get in the right mindset for success.
Think about the things that are important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.
2. Setting goals
Setting goals is a key part of the process in building self-confidence, and real solid confidence comes from this planning.
What would your friends consider your strengths and weaknesses?
You want to aim to set goals that exploit your strengths while minimising your weaknesses.
After setting the major goals in your life, you want to break down these mammoth accomplishments into small achievable steps that do not seem so overwhelming.
Particularly, identify the first small step to getting underway, which can give you some starting momentum.
3. Manage your mind
Another important aspect of building self-confidence, is that you need to start managing your own mind and thoughts.
We all have this inner dialogue playing, where we talk ourselves into or out of what lies in front of us.
We need to learn to identify when this self-talk is negative, and try to defeat it by separating your thoughts from that inner tape and realising how detrimental it is.
Overriding this with strong mental imagery, can be effective.
Using mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your goals makes them seem far more manageable and achievable.
Every time you doubt yourself, counter these thoughts with positive affirmations and remember that MOST of the problems are in your head.
Stand up to, and for yourself.
Make a promise to yourself, commit to it, and do all in your power to achieve your ambitions.
4. Increase your goals/challenges
Gradually increase your goals and challenges, increasing the size of your commitment.
As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you’ll find your self-confidence building.
You’ll have earned your confidence because you will have put in the hard yards necessary to be successful.
Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence.
Take small steps, focus on your path, and you’ll understand that it’ll take baby steps to get where you want.
You’ll soon be taking baby steps from small confidence building to full blown successes.
5. Face your fears
You need to face your fears head on too.
Face at least one of your fears; when you survive, you’ll be that much more confident.
Learn to handle and accept mistakes or failure.
Accept that mistakes will happen when you’re trying something new.
If you embrace and own your mistakes, it shows confidence, and your future ability will also increase – as you’ve just learned now what not to do.
It shows integrity and self-awareness, as well as humility.
No one likes those people who always have someone else to blame and will never admit to them being wrong, or that they don’t know the answer.
These people, despite the hardened exterior they show, are actually quite insecure.
Be “the better person” in these situations, it will pay off in the long run.
6. Develop daily habits
On top of these strong foundations of building self-confidence, there are many smaller habits that we can adopt on a daily basis to get on the right road to our success.
Living in the now and being grateful for the little things we have.
Learn to enjoy everything around you, and you’ll change your perspective.
You’ll be grateful for the finer things like the air you breathe, the food you eat, and your friends and family around you.
Socialising is also very important.
Talk things out with your friends and family.
They will be your biggest supporters, and can help you to regain your confidence.
If they are the reason you lack confidence, try expanding your social circle.
7. Dress sharp and don’t slouch.
Your posture and the way you carry yourself goes a long way to your appearance and perceived confidence.
If you’re slouched over, people assume you’re weaker and below them.
This is how the rest of nature works – every plant and animal works on survival of the fittest, and you need to look like you’re fit to survive.
Make an effort to sit up straight and stand tall.
Dressing well can help you feel a million dollars, which will also help you keep your head held high.
And clean yourself up a little too.
It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’re stained, sweaty, and smelly.
Do your best to stay clean, it’s a major key to your confidence.
8. Smile more
You can add to your appearance, learning to display a big smile when interacting with people will allow you to exude a sureness that encourages people to perceive you as confident in yourself as well.
9. Be engaging
Being an actively engaging person in your group also assures people that you like who you are and they should to.
Compliment and praise other people on anything you notice about them or what they’ve been doing, sit on the front row and be seen and heard, and speak up when you have an idea that you think could improve things.
Don’t banish yourself to hide in the shadows in the corner.
If you don’t love yourself and sell yourself short, how can you expect anybody else to?
10. Embrace being scared
Remember that it’s okay to be scared.
If you had done everything in life, you’d have no reason to be scared.
Being scared doesn’t mean that you’re not confident.
It simply means you’re going somewhere new.
Embrace that path, face your fears head-on, and take those first steps towards your goals and building your self-confidence.
Take control and be the version of yourself that you want to be, you have the power to change how the story ends.
Thank you for reading this article about how to improve Self-Confidence. I really hope that you enjoyed it and take action on the advice given in this article .
In the next part to this 5 part blog, I will be talking about Pt.5.. Self-Happiness - What it means to be aligned with your self-worth and values, and overcome anything that life puts in front of you without the stress.
I wish you good luck and I hope its contents have been a good help to you.
Developed by Carl Dunn - Mindset Mind.
